When we went to pick up E. yesterday at his former foster home, it was a surreal experience. Everything that he owned was sitting on his former family’s dining room table. It consisted of three suitcases full of toys and clothes, and a couple of tubs of school work (from Kindergarten and First grade). The one that made me the saddest, though, was the tub his foster mom said contained all of his memories. In it were pictures of his biological mom from one of their visits when he first went into foster care at 2 years old, a photo album of his first foster family with only about 8 pictures taken over a three-year period (E. was there from 2 yr’s old to 5 yr’s old), and a photo album from his recent foster family labeling the people in it as “mom”, “dad”, and “brother”. There were also two letters that were sealed telling E. not to open until he was 16 and 19. Neither of them say on the envelopes who the letters are from. There are a couple of cards from his last foster family telling him they were so excited that he was going to be part of their family (written back in ’07). In the cards they call him “grandson” and “son.”
The last foster family was told by CPS that they could adopt E., so the parents as well as CPS immediately told E. that this was going to be his “forever home”. After a couple months of staying with them, he started calling them “mom “ and “dad”. After a few months, the foster parents realized that E. was not going to be adoptable yet, and that his case was much more complicated than they were ever told.
To be adopted, a child’s biological parent’s rights have to be terminated. E.’s parents rights were never terminated even though he had not seen them in 4 ½ years. In the past 1 ½ year s, he has had 5 different CPS workers assigned to his case. Each time the CPS worker gets his case they have to become familiar to his situation again and again and again. They basically have to start from the beginning each time. Necessary things have been done to help E. become adoptable but were not documented, and therefore, many things have been done multiple times so that the state can document them properly. This kind of thing is what has kept him in foster care for 5 years.
Everyone keeps telling Paul and me “congratulations” on getting a foster son. However, our feelings are so mixed. We absolutely love having E. with us, but we know how confusing his little heart must feel right now….it just doesn’t seem like congratulations are in order. We pray that for E.’s sake CPS will help draw some closure to his case. We pray that God will direct this path and that E. will find his ”forever family”.
Lemonade Stand - Unhappy campers b/c they didn't get many customers..
I think this is called "drinking away your profits"
Paul & Cathleen
ReplyDeleteIt is so devastating to hear the process this child has gone through and that his life has just put on hold like he's a "product on a shelf". It makes me realize how many of these kids may have aged out just simply because of red tape and caseworkers being shifted. Therapy? Absolutely! And why? Not because of being removed from their home, but because of the state and their lack of "seeing it through". I guess God knew I couldn't handle being a caseworker because I wouldn't be able to rest until my files were "checked off" so to speak. I just couldn't leave a child hanging. Well, the state doesn't know what has hit them now because you've got prayer power from the many friends you have following your journey. God knows this little boy's heart and he will hear this cry. We are so excited to follow your journey with you! We'll keep you posted on us. Does it ever end? Health inspection Tuesday and she says that's it. She has said that before. LOL!