E. Has Arrived!!

When we went to pick up E. yesterday at his former foster home, it was a surreal experience. Everything that he owned was sitting on his former family’s dining room table. It consisted of three suitcases full of toys and clothes, and a couple of tubs of school work (from Kindergarten and First grade). The one that made me the saddest, though, was the tub his foster mom said contained all of his memories. In it were pictures of his biological mom from one of their visits when he first went into foster care at 2 years old, a photo album of his first foster family with only about 8 pictures taken over a three-year period (E. was there from 2 yr’s old to 5 yr’s old), and a photo album from his recent foster family labeling the people in it as “mom”, “dad”, and “brother”. There were also two letters that were sealed telling E. not to open until he was 16 and 19. Neither of them say on the envelopes who the letters are from. There are a couple of cards from his last foster family telling him they were so excited that he was going to be part of their family (written back in ’07). In the cards they call him “grandson” and “son.”

The last foster family was told by CPS that they could adopt E., so the parents as well as CPS immediately told E. that this was going to be his “forever home”. After a couple months of staying with them, he started calling them “mom “ and “dad”. After a few months, the foster parents realized that E. was not going to be adoptable yet, and that his case was much more complicated than they were ever told.

To be adopted, a child’s biological parent’s rights have to be terminated. E.’s parents rights were never terminated even though he had not seen them in 4 ½ years. In the past 1 ½ year s, he has had 5 different CPS workers assigned to his case. Each time the CPS worker gets his case they have to become familiar to his situation again and again and again. They basically have to start from the beginning each time. Necessary things have been done to help E. become adoptable but were not documented, and therefore, many things have been done multiple times so that the state can document them properly. This kind of thing is what has kept him in foster care for 5 years.

Everyone keeps telling Paul and me “congratulations” on getting a foster son. However, our feelings are so mixed. We absolutely love having E. with us, but we know how confusing his little heart must feel right now….it just doesn’t seem like congratulations are in order. We pray that for E.’s sake CPS will help draw some closure to his case. We pray that God will direct this path and that E. will find his ”forever family”.

Lemonade Stand - Unhappy campers b/c they didn't get many customers..

I think this is called "drinking away your profits"

Lizard Hunt

The gang with their catch.

E proudly displaying his frogs!!

Slumber Party in the tent (in their room)!!

Since summer arrived, Joshua has been dying to go on a lizard hunt at night. Yesterday, E spent the night with us for the second time. We went on a huge lizard hunt with tons of friends, but found only baby frogs instead of lizards. Our kids' friends knew about E and made him feel part of the family from the moment they saw him. It was fun to see our kids and the amazing kids they have chosen as their friends love on E.

We learned a lot from the first night he came and tried to make some simple changes. The first night he spent with us was an introduction to our family. Therefore, any time he wanted to do something, we stopped what we were doing and played with him. When he left, we had a family meeting and everyone was fully exhausted! Meredith , Marian, and Josh had such servants' hearts and we loved watching them have a heart for E. But we knew that in the long term we couldn’t keep that up, and he would have to become more of a "family member" and less of a “guest”. Last night we treated him like a son and brother.

E woke up early this morning, so Paul & I sat and had breakfast with him. I know that he is so confused about the fact that he will soon be leaving his foster family, friends, and church to come live with us daily. He will have to make new friends, have a new school, and a new church. Most of us want to know what our future holds for us; E just wanted to know where he would be in August when school started. It broke my heart to think about how scary and unpredictable his world must feel to him. He doesn’t know what tomorrow holds or who will be there for him.

Please pray with us for this little boy that CPS can come to some decision about the home-study they are doing on an aunt in Virginia ,and whether or not they are going to terminate the father’s rights. E can't be adopted until that happens and will continue to live with so much uncertainty in his life.

More time with E!

Just a quick update. E is spending the night with us again tonight, and is currently playing in the pool with a lot of Meredith's friends! (Morgan, Kelly, and Meg). At this point, the plan is for him to move in with us on 6/29!!

Peaceful Child

Peaceful child, while you sleep
Heaven knows the pain you keep.

New families, new friends, new faces, new strife
Lost in the blur of your seven-year old life.

Starting over - and over- and over - again
It is difficult, even for a grown man, to really imagine.

Your smile, your joy, your contagious laugh
Are these the tools to help you get down the path?

My instinct is to hold you away from the fray
To protect you, to guide you, and show you the way.

But my arms are only so long and my motives are not always true
There is only One Father who can provide that for you.

God, in His mercy, is faithful, righteous and pure
To meet you right where you are on this life-long tour .

He’ll be with you wherever you go to hold you tight
And His grip will sustain you through the darkest of nights.

- Paul (June 17, 2009 after E's first night with us)

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in sin, made us alive together with Christ. Eph 2:4

This I declare about the Lord; He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him. Psalms 91:2

Hanging out

Meeting E*! (*name shortened for protection)

We finally got to put a face with a name last night!! As we were driving to the house E lives in currently, our kids were talking about how awkward it was going to feel to walk into his house with his current foster parents. What were we going to do when we went in the house? Were we going to sit in a living room on couches staring at each other and trying to make conversation?

We had arrived 30 minutes early, and the foster dad wasn’t expecting us yet. When he answered the door, he asked who we were and what we were doing there. He then let us in after we explained that we were there to meet E. We waited in their living room for about 5 minutes, and then E arrived. He came into the room smiling, and asked his foster mom if he could show Meredith, Marian, and Joshua his room. Paul stayed and talked to the foster mom, and I followed E to his room. He immediately showed us his “A” honor roll certificates and showed us the Lego airplane he made. He got out his drawing book and went through it page by page showing us everything he had made. Our kids fell in love with him.

We told him that we wanted him to come over next week and play at our house. Joshua has a Spiderman Lego set he hasn’t put together yet, and we told E he could help him. E wanted to know if he could come with us right then to help him. There was something a little bit sad to me about how eager he was to go with us and how well he received us. Everything considered, we are complete strangers to him. But I don’t understand the heart of a foster child yet.

Last weekend, we made him a book with pictures of our family and letters telling him we were excited to meet him. When the caseworker gave it to him on Wednesday, he was told that he would be coming to live with us. We told E we were going to see him again on Monday night. As we were leaving his foster mom said she had caught E a couple of times late at night under his covers with a flashlight. She said he was looking at the book we made him.

We were only with him for an hour and yet we can’t quit thinking about him. We know we have no control over his future. There are a lot of people who work at CPS, Buckner, judicial courts, etc. that will never meet him, but will decide his future. The whole situation is pretty daunting. It would be a road none of us wanted to go down if we didn’t have the confidence that, while we are not in control of what happens to E, we serve a God that is in complete control! We serve a God that tells us, “He has taken account of our wanderings, puts our tears in His bottle, and gives each one a name.” (Psalm 56:8)

Pray that God will intervene on E’s behalf, and future wherever that road leads. Thanks for reading our entries and being a part of this journey.

Let the preparations begin...

At long last - the pool safety fence is up! This is the LAST of a very long list of things to do for foster certification.........

Joshua is very ready for a roomate!!!!

Joshua and Marian getting an old dresser ready to paint....

As you can see, we are getting prepared for the new addition. We'll get to meet him late next week for the first time and will spend as much time as possible with him before he arrives fully on June 29th (Paul's 42nd birthday).

Progress!

This morning, Cathleen and I finished our last hurdle – the CPR class. We saw a picture of E for the very first time as well. He is a really cute 7 year old little boy. While we still don’t know the results of the family member’s home study, Buckner is preparing to move him to our home at the end of June (probably on Paul’s birthday – June 29!).

We are now working to prepare a book of our family so that the case worker can present it to him next week, and then we’ll get to meet with him next weekend. Between that time and the end of June, we’ll try to get together with him several more times at our house so that he can get more comfortable. We know that it is tough for a little guy to have so much transition so we will be doing as much as possible to ease him into it.

Cathleen and I are still amazed at how this has come together and although the chapter is yet to be written, we are confident in God’s faithfulness.

To be continued……Paul & Cathleen