Last Fall (2008), we completed the 10-week training program, but there were 4 additional classes we had to make up this Spring (CPR, Medications, etc). We finished 2 of them this past weekend. The people that go through these classes are really amazing people. Buckner does an excellent job in presenting the worst-case scenarios of what being a foster parent can potentially look like. They constantly remind us that the reason these kids will come to us is because they have been traumatized in one way or another. Something bad has happened to them (or we wouldn’t be meeting them in the first place). I looked around the room on Saturday, and most of the people that we began the training with are still here. They are becoming foster parents for a variety of reasons: some can not have children of their own, while some have older children and feel that their families can use this as a ministry together. The common thread is that we all have a heart for children. There is something said in every meeting that would make a lot of people walk out of the room and not return. However, these parents are still there.
After the class on Saturday, Paul and I were talking on the porch. We were talking about what we thought life was going to look like with foster children. The unknown is scary. Paul said that he wants to make sure he protects our family well, and use wisdom in his decisions as we proceed. I asked him if he felt God was telling him that He wanted our family to do this. He said he did feel God leading us this way, even after what we have heard. There are several other things to do in order to get our house ready for foster children. We will have to take down our trampoline (the state doesn’t allow a trampoline if you have foster kids). We have to put a fence around the pool (the state requires it). The state does not allow you to put a girl foster child with our son (and vice-versa we can not put a boy foster child in our daughter’s room). Joshua is dying to share his room with someone, and his room is already set up with bunk beds to do that. We will have to get another bed in Marian’s room for her to share her room with a foster child. Next, we have to gather all of our medicine and put it in a locked box - even things like Neosporin have to be locked up! I could go on and on about the little details that we need to have worked out, and sometimes we wonder if it is worth it. But I go back to my original question - do we feel God is calling us to become foster parents? Paul and I have both said yes to that question, so now as overwhelming as it seems at times we continue on this journey.
February 24, 2009
The beginning of the journey
Our family began this process of becoming a foster family in July 2008. We had been open to adopting a child, but found it to be so costly. Paul signed us up to go to Buckner’s informational meeting about becoming foster parents. We wanted to be open to whatever God wanted us do, but becoming a foster parent scared me. I didn’t know a lot about it, but I did know some of the reasons a child would enter the foster care system. Some reasons: they have been either severely neglected, parents could be drug addicts, or the child could have been sexually abused. In short, they have been traumatized in some way. My heart has always gone out to those kids, but I didn’t know if we were equipped to handle those issues. However, I decided that going to an informational meeting wouldn’t hurt anything.
We prayed before we went that God would really clarify what He wanted us to do. I was convinced that I would probably be scared away after they told us what to expect. At the meeting, they told us that we would have to go to a 10-week course which would meet every Tuesday from 6:30-9:30. It would start in September, 2008. For those of you who are parents, September sounded like a really crazy month to start a recurring weekly meeting. The kids go back to school, and tons of activities begin, but this was the first required step. It didn’t mean that we would decide to become foster parents; we would just commit to going to the meetings to gather additional information.
As we got into the process, I know that God chose Buckner’s initial meeting for us to attend. Buckner looks at fostering as a ministry to the children and their families. They only want foster parents who have a personal relationship with Christ, and they want families who will extend a hand to an extremely hurting world. We watched a video which highlighted several foster parents who shared their experiences. The one that tugged on our hearts was that of a 15-year old foster child named Shawn. Shawn was covered in tattoos and body piercings. The foster dad was sitting by Shawn, and telling the camera “how easy it was to love him because of Shawn’s huge heart.” Shawn had never really been to church before coming to this foster home. He talked about how he loved going to church and being part of this foster family. The foster dad patted Shawn on the knee, and said that “he knew Shawn wouldn’t always be with him. But he knows now that Shawn will take Jesus with him. “
We left the meeting energized, and not scared. We reminded ourselves that our job is not to figure everything out on this end, but to obey God in whatever He calls us to do. Were we concerned about bringing a child into our home that has been through some of those serious issues, and having them interact with our own children? You bet!! However, God whispered “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” (Psalm 32:8) “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) To actually hear God when He whispers to our hearts requires us to be still, which isn’t always easy to do. The concerns of the trials our family may encounter by bringing in foster children have not left us. However, we are peaceful that God has led us down this path, and will provide what we need.
We have also decided to take only younger children (0-6 years) at this stage in life. However, I have always loved teenagers. One of my favorite things in the world was being a Young Life leader, so the idea of having a teenage foster child really appeals to me. However, God has given Paul and I three amazing children, and their protection and innocence is our top priority. Perhaps we will have a teenager foster child once our kids are grown, but not now.
We prayed before we went that God would really clarify what He wanted us to do. I was convinced that I would probably be scared away after they told us what to expect. At the meeting, they told us that we would have to go to a 10-week course which would meet every Tuesday from 6:30-9:30. It would start in September, 2008. For those of you who are parents, September sounded like a really crazy month to start a recurring weekly meeting. The kids go back to school, and tons of activities begin, but this was the first required step. It didn’t mean that we would decide to become foster parents; we would just commit to going to the meetings to gather additional information.
As we got into the process, I know that God chose Buckner’s initial meeting for us to attend. Buckner looks at fostering as a ministry to the children and their families. They only want foster parents who have a personal relationship with Christ, and they want families who will extend a hand to an extremely hurting world. We watched a video which highlighted several foster parents who shared their experiences. The one that tugged on our hearts was that of a 15-year old foster child named Shawn. Shawn was covered in tattoos and body piercings. The foster dad was sitting by Shawn, and telling the camera “how easy it was to love him because of Shawn’s huge heart.” Shawn had never really been to church before coming to this foster home. He talked about how he loved going to church and being part of this foster family. The foster dad patted Shawn on the knee, and said that “he knew Shawn wouldn’t always be with him. But he knows now that Shawn will take Jesus with him. “
We left the meeting energized, and not scared. We reminded ourselves that our job is not to figure everything out on this end, but to obey God in whatever He calls us to do. Were we concerned about bringing a child into our home that has been through some of those serious issues, and having them interact with our own children? You bet!! However, God whispered “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” (Psalm 32:8) “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) To actually hear God when He whispers to our hearts requires us to be still, which isn’t always easy to do. The concerns of the trials our family may encounter by bringing in foster children have not left us. However, we are peaceful that God has led us down this path, and will provide what we need.
We have also decided to take only younger children (0-6 years) at this stage in life. However, I have always loved teenagers. One of my favorite things in the world was being a Young Life leader, so the idea of having a teenage foster child really appeals to me. However, God has given Paul and I three amazing children, and their protection and innocence is our top priority. Perhaps we will have a teenager foster child once our kids are grown, but not now.
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