Just the highlights

We got a phone call from Buckner last week. Our caseworker told us that she wanted to talk to us about a 6 year old boy named E (name shortened for protection). He was placed in foster care when he was 1. His mother dropped him off at a friend’s house, and never came back to get him. The friend called CPS and he was placed in foster care in Houston. . E stayed in foster care with the same family for 3 years, and during this time his biological mom died of a drug overdose. When he was 4 ½ CPS decided they knew his parental rights were going to get terminated, and they need to place him with a family who may be willing to adopt him as his current family only wanted to foster children. They placed E with a local family, and he has been there for about a year. This family recently said they don’t want to adopt him. They also had him evaluated by a psychologist who diagnosed him with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Don’t quit reading here, or you may think we are crazy for even considering this.

We did a lot of research on O.D.D., and came to the conclusion we couldn’t take a child with such a serious diagnosis. My mom works at a psychiatric hospital, and she asked the psychiatrists and nurses to give her a list of questions we could ask the case worker about E and his diagnosis. One of the questions was to ask the case worker how she thought the current foster parents would describe E. She said they would say he was a "sweet, polite boy who was quiet around adults but out going with kids. He isn’t that into sports but is very creative. He has gotten in to trouble at school and church but nothing very serious." A child with O.D.D. is not described that way. A kid with O.D.D. has a huge problem with authority, and is often violent in their behavior. We wrote our case worker back and told her how confused we were with how they describe E and how he was diagnosed.

E has been going to a counselor since he has been in R. He apparently has really bonded with this counselor. The counselor has said he thinks the diagnosis of O.D.D. is absurd, and he completely disagrees with it. Upon further questioning, our case worker told us that the entire Buckner team consisting of L.P.C’s and other child care professionals believes E was mis-diagnosed. Buckner is seriously considering not using this psychologist in the future as they feel this has happened before.

Paul and I have been getting advice on how to proceed, and if we should take E in as a foster child with the potential to adopt him (as this is our hearts to do someday with a child). From the advice we have gotten, we were told to speak to E’s counselor and find out what things he thinks we will face with E. Buckner is in the process of getting permission for us to do that next week.

We have told Buckner that if we believed E has O.D.D. , we didn’t feel we could give him all he needed. However, if we felt , as Buckner does, that he was mis-diagnosed, we would love to foster him with the potential to adopt. He has an aunt that lives out of state that is having a home study done on her to adopt him. We have been told that no one thinks the aunt will get approved.

All of this has happened so fast! Our heads are spinning. We would LOVE your prayers on how to proceed. We clearly want to follow God’s leading. Our caseworker also shared somethings about the current foster family. A couple of years ago CPS placed a 2 year old child in their home, and they were told they could adopt her. Right before it was finalized a relative came out of no where and CPS placed the child with them. CPS will always place foster kids with relatives if possible. When CPS approached the foster parents about E they were concerned because he was older than they were wanting. Buckner feels the foster dad has never really tried to bond with E because he was so hurt by what happened to the little girl.
When we asked why they don’t want to adopt E, our case worker said they don’t feel like they have bonded with him and God has told them they were not suppose to adopt him. I told Paul I want God to get a little more specific with them about why they shouldn’t adopt him!! She feels the foster parents quit trying with E several months ago. They are willing to continue to foster him but do not want to adopt him. Buckner wants to get E out of that foster home because they don’t feel he is emotionally being cared for very well. They want to place him right after school gets out. Buckner is also looking at a couple of other families for E.

In other words, if we say yes and Buckner chooses us, we would have E by June 5!!